Avoiding framing traps
is a key component in being a strong decision maker in a leadership position. “Managers
can consciously control their frames, rather than to be controlled by them –
and even use framing to their advantage” (Hoch, 2006, p.141). Regardless of a person’s profession, framing
traps can happen in a person’s personal life as well. Think of this as a lapse
in judgment due to a miss-fire in the brain in the section of your cognitive
thinking. To me it is like a dance, one wrong step and you fall into the wrong
frame but all the right steps enable a person to do the framing dance beautifully.
I am very guilty of
falling into framing traps or making bad decisions although I try to make the
right step each time. I find that because I am always trying to be exact and or
perfect, which falls under my perfectionist side, I have a tendency (only at
certain times) to make rash decisions. I don’t think people like to admit to
these types of issues but I look at them as learning opportunities which allow
me to grow and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Getting out of a Bad
Situation: Relationships are difficult and require a substantial amount of work
from both parties. When a relationship goes sour there has to be a time where
the two parties involved split ways and go their separate paths; as easy as
this seems it doesn’t always play out this way. In the summer of 2011 I made
the decision to try and work things out with my partner at the time, we had
been going through a rough patch. The blind decision was to move into a new
place together in order to get a fresh start. What I thought was going to be a
good decision turned out to be a terrible one. Not only did the situation
between her and I get worse, I now had to get her to move out. The only right
decision I made before we signed the lease was I knew I could afford the place
on my own if this type of situation was to arise. I would like to think that we
shouldn’t have to always have a safety net especially when dealing with matters
of the heart but in this case it was mandatory. This situation to me should
have been a “no brainer.” I knew that things were not going to get better but
as they say, “love is blind” and so I followed my heart and made a bad decision.
They say you will learn as you get older and each new experience will help to
frame out the steps that are to come next in your life and this was one of
those situations. Yes I suppose I could have moved out on my own but I needed
these experiences and I had to fall on my face to get up and realize that I
didn’t want to go through that situation again. This was a high risk situation
but I was able to prevail. This situation taught me a lot about my own
strengths as a person and also made me stronger; I now know I can make wiser
decisions in order to avoid going through another situation like this one.
Friends: As I was
starting to write this blog a new situation arose in my life which I find fits
perfectly into this chapter. The decisions we make today will affect events
that take place on the days to come. Over this past week I went furniture
shopping with a friend of mine. This is something anyone would find to be
normal, unfortunately when you deal with catty women, especially those who
happen to be lesbians; it turns out to be anything but normal. A few situations
occurred throughout the day and I made the decision to end our friendship
because some issues were becoming too much for me and I didn’t want the friends
of my friend interfering with my life and career. After doing that I remembered
my friend had a spare copy of my house key, I asked her to send it back to me
and she did but unfortunately the envelope was very noticeable and ended up
getting tampered with. I was irritate as I am sure anyone in my situation would
be and I snapped at my friend but I didn’t say anything threatening just that I
couldn’t believe she didn’t try to hide the key but instead made it so obvious
it was stolen. Needless to say to make a long story short after I got irritate
other friends of my now old friend got involved and the situation just blew up.
This is where framing comes into play. If I just taken the high road and
changed the locks and said nothing the current situation I am in now wouldn’t
have happened. I guess these are the times where you look back and you wish you
would have done things differently, but you didn’t and now you have to learn
from the mistakes. This situation also taught me that I can’t make rash
decisions in the heat of the moment. I need to wait, calm down and assess the
situation first. I have a tendency to get rather emotional, which I think stems
from the fact that I am a woman, a Scorpio and I was born in the Chinese year
of the Tiger, I suppose this is a triple threat that can be deadly (and I mean
that very lightly). In talking with a friend about the situation I found that I
need to take the high road and remember I am a classy educated woman and I
shouldn’t allow situations likes these to get the best of me. Although I had
the best intentions in mind when I asked for my key back, I could have avoided
the whole situation buy paying for the locks to be changed and ending it there.
I suppose we live and we learn all the time.
Marketing myself for a
Promotion: Frames are all around us regardless if we are at work or dealing
with something in our personal lives. Over the past year I have been trying to
prove myself in order to receive either a promotion and or find another
position within the university that is in alignment with where I see myself
going in my career. This task I found to be the hardest. I couldn’t figure out
if I wasn’t framing myself in the right way or what was going wrong because
each avenue I went down, I was being turned down. I was becoming increasingly
more and more frustrated. I work hard and I am good representation for the
university, so what was I doing wrong? I guess the decisions we make although
are good can also be bad. I quickly realized that I was too good at my job and
my current supervisor was not willing to let me go. It was unfair to me but
finally my work was able to show through. I never approached my previous supervisor
but that was something I wish I had done. Sometimes the frames we need to
change or try affect the decision-making process differently. For me, at the
end of the day my hard work paid off and I was offered a dream position and I
couldn’t be happier in it.
Framing is all around
us and it is how we approach situations that dictate the events that are to
happen next in our live, we live, we learn and grow.
Reference
Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton
on making decisions. (1 ed.). John Wiley & Sons Inc.
