A632.4.3.RB_Deception in Negotiations

Misrepresentation and or deception are common acts when undergoing negotiations. At times it is intentional and at other times is it just a stretching of the truth but either way it can be harmful. I think we are all guilty of the common, “white lie” but when it comes to business, white lies can lead to epic disasters. I think back to when the ENRON scandal was just hitting the mainstream news circuits and how the misrepresentation of the organization not only caused the company to close but it left many without jobs and hundreds without money (which had been stolen by top level executives). This organization understood what it was doing and by deceiving its investors was able to embezzle a substantial about of money.

Back last year I became single after being in a 3 year relationship. It was really different being on my own and figuring out who I was and where I was going but once I got a firm grip on my life I was ready to start dating again. Due to the fact that I work a lot and I am not one for bar hopping I turned to the online dating world to see what it could offer me. I don’t think there is a rule book for how to be real and or ethical online but if there was, most people on these online dating sites do nothing but lie. I am very honest about who I am and maybe to a fault. I understand that I am a rather large and sometimes painful pill to swallow but I don’t hide that about myself and I even had a woman tell me that my profile made me come off as “bitchy” because of the requirements I had for a future partner. I think because we are a product of our environments which are heavily influenced by pop culture and the media, we have a distorted image of what we think others find attractive both physically and emotionally so we portray ourselves to what we think others want to see and not for what is the truth; here is my example of experiencing that first hand. I met what I thought was a nice girl on this dating site. We exchanged a few emails, shared a few texts and thought we should meet. We decided to meet to go to a local concert since it would be in a heavily populated area. When I got there her physical appearance was what she had in her pictures but her personality was the farthest thing from what I read about online. She made herself out to be a sweet girl who was polite and grew up with good manners and knew how to treat a lady. Oh my goodness, I seriously couldn’t get away from this nutcase fast enough. Within the first 15 minutes she was trying to grope me and kiss me. I was so disgusted that I just got my purse and left. I couldn’t believe that people could be like that but I suppose that is where the lying and deception comes into play. Dating online allows for people to hide behind that computer and maybe that is because their reality isn’t what they want and they do not know how to change it. Luckily for me, shortly after this terrible encounter I met a really nice girl who I have been seeing since October. Deception comes in all forms and fashion whether is in your professional or personal life.

I hate liars and lying. I think that if you cannot be honest with yourself and with others then you need to do some serious soul-searching. With that said, it is hard for me to think back to a time when I was being deceptive in my profession because I find that once you start that trend you are more likely to find it acceptable and the more you do the less people trust you and will eventually ostracize yourself. I have mentioned in previous discussion board and blog responses that I was trying very hard last year to find either a new position with the university I worked for or to get a promotion in my current position. It was extremely difficult for me to make these dreams become a reality but I was able to do it. Over the course of the year though, there was one time when I didn’t tell my boss I was applying for another position within the university and she found out. Although we are not required to tell our employers and or supervisors when we are applying for other positions, ethically it is a good business practice. I can remember the tension when my boss told me that she knew I had applied. I was furious that it was out in the open but I think that it allowed me to speak freely about the fact that I wanted more and that I was becoming increasingly more bored with the position I was in. Even though my boss heard me, she wasn’t the type to help you get to where you wanted to be, she was rather selfish. I guess my deception to her put some bad blood in the water and from there on out I knew that if I wanted more I was going to have to go get it myself. A few months after this incident is when I was I took another job within the university and its wonderful, I can finally breathe and I am not stressing or worrying. I find this situation to be a rare case but it worked out in my favor and I couldn’t be happier. I wouldn’t recommend people deceiving their bosses but when you don’t feel comfortable having these types of conversation with them you have to do what is best for you and your future, it truly is a “dog eat dog” world out there especially when our economy is going through rough times.

With these examples being presented, the ways in which to eliminate deception, leaders need to evaluate things from 3 perspectives; before during and after negotiating, as this will help to weed out lies, deception and misrepresentation.

Prepare your questions: The best way to eliminate deception is to have a plan of action already laid out. Go into the situation prepared with your questions so that the other person or people know you have done your homework. Those looking to deceive you don’t want to go up against someone they cannot win over, they look and prey on the weak, the stronger you are the less likely anyone will try to misrepresent themselves.

Avoid over confidence: Avoid being cocky. If you look like you are Mr. Big Shot the other person might start calling you on your bluff and the tables might change. Go in ready to hear the situation out and have all of your documentations ready but over confidence is an easy thing to have backfired on you.

Keep records and get things in writing: Deceivers hate putting things in writing because it makes them accountable for their actions and or words. Keeping hard records makes everyone accountable and it always keeps an equal playing field. In my position, my supervisor asks that we CC him on all emails (well most) because then it shows to him that we are doing our jobs and when we need to him to jump in he knows what is going on. It eliminates the guess work as to who is doing what and if something has been completed or not. Records, especially in writing keep misrepresentation and lies out of the equation.

Don’t gloat: After you win don’t gloat, for one it isn’t professional and too it can be unethical. You want to be a strong leader and decision maker and so avoiding gloating keeps you polished and professional.