Thursday, February 21, 2013

A632.6.3.RB_The High Cost of Conflict


I like to think of myself as a team player most of the time but when it comes to my school work, I despise working in groups. I find that when we work in groups, certain people do more work and end up pulling the weight of the rest of the group which to me isn’t fair. In addition to the “pulling of the weight,” when working in groups, you are forced to deal with certain personalities that will differ from yours and therefore can create conflict. I suppose I was more likely to work in groups when I started my first few graduate courses but now that my career has changed and my time is spread thinner than before and is more valuable, I find that working in groups tends to be more work than what it is worth. I understand the rationale behind wanting to build in group assignments into the course but I find that instructors don’t understand how much stress it can be when students face conflict within their assigned groups. I understand that my interpersonal conflict of being a perfectionist also plays a large role in not enjoying group assignments but most of the time I can put that aside and move forward but for some reason lately I just cannot do it.

Let’s take for example course MSLD 632 (which I am currently in). We have a large group component that’s requires 3 submissions over the course of 9 weeks. In the beginning of the term I selected my group members solely on the fact that I worked with them and I knew that if there were issues we would be in close proximity. Unfortunately I didn’t take into account our significant differences. Each of my team members have small children, are married and or in a relationship and have many activities outside of work that hold them from being able to respond and do school work in the evening. I do not have those restraints; my partner lives far away, I don’t have children and I mainly do school work at night from my home. This is where the conflict starts…

I suppose we are all perfectionists but I find that my level of polished professional work speaks for itself. I am not trying to be a showoff but I do have impeccable formatting and a knack for professional presentations. Of the three submissions everyone but I selected to be the team lead which for once I wasn’t opposed to but I knew that I was going to have to put my fate into the hands of someone else. Everything was pretty good for the first submission and then the second assignment started. This was a larger assignment and it required multiple components. I had a feeling from the start my other team members were closer than I was and I felt like an outcast. I decided that I was going to try and not cause a conflict but when a comment was made in regards to layout/formatting I about hit the roof. I understand that each person wants to be the lead for certain projects but when I do project management daily and have years of experience putting proposals together, please do no knock down my ideas until you have seen them. Needless to say I submitted what my layout would have looked like in a PDF document and parts were taken. I wasn’t too happy about that but I suppose there is not much I can do about it. We as a group have decided to meet to put everything out on the table but I have a feeling it won’t be pretty. Putting women in a room to hash out conflict can get messy.

Like I mentioned earlier I don’t like to be difficult but when my work is shot down before it’s been reviewed I take that personally. I know that I could have handled this situation differently but sometimes when my buttons are pushed I just…SNAP. I like to collaborate but I do have a rather strong personality and that I think can be my down fall. I realize that I cannot get out of group work as it is a requirement in my degree program but I think that if the tables were turned and I was the instructor developing the course I would not add those types of components because it can be so difficult for students to work together especially in our institution. Asides from geographic restraints/differences, we are extremely diverse, we are dealing with modern students who range in ages starting in the mid 20s to late 50s and that opens up a world of areas for conflict to arise.

I know that I am learning to relax and let things happen as they should but my need to get A’s and be the best in my education is a personal journey for me. I know that I catch slack from everyone about needing to get high grades but I think that is my cross to bear and no one else’s.

There are principles of new thinking that I could have and will try to infuse going forward in dealing with group projects. Areas such as creating partnerships, fostering sustainable collaboration, becoming more open, disclosing information and feelings (this will help to avoid situations of conflict) and becoming more ResponAble. 

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